This is a great article, I recommend it to everyone and here's why.
This is how I came to understand life in the aftermath of my son's death, it's become part of my philosophy. Simon died almost 30 years ago and I thought my life was over. My dreams for our life had been destroyed, I became angry, life was so unfair. You see I had this notion that you worked hard, tried your best to live an ethical life and while things might get tough from time to time you'd be okay. I believed that there was some balance, you'd win some and lose some, in fact if you were on a winning streak you could always expect some bad stuff to happen and vice versa. You learned to take what you were given, hope that tomorrow would be a better day and put the bad stuff behind you.
What I came to realize was if I didn't want to put the memory of Simon away, it was time for me to embrace everything that happened as being part of my life. If I wanted to remember his life, I would have to remember his death. If I worried about avoiding the negative things I would miss the positive, pain and sorrow was as important as the joy and happiness. It's the texture in life that makes it special. I became grateful for Simon's life and death. I learned to integrate the good and bad as being my life. I have decided that, Life doesn't happen to me, it happens for me"!
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